My Life is Over... I must Die

 

 Primary Soul. oil on canvas. 40 x 60 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $3400

Patrick John Mills

My Life is Over... I must Die.

Last night a friend of mine explaing that my career as an artist is finished.  For years I painted tormented art work... and life was great. I was painting some really hardcore painful art.  Siegfried explained, "Patrick, your screwed!" .  I laughed.  But he made a lot of sense.  He talked about how Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear...  = great artist. 

Sad News... I am happy.  Now I wake up and I am happy.  In the morning I wake up to the sunshine. I feel sun light in my heart. I feel so happy.  I dance in the shower, Sing in the car when I drive. I can not stop myself from breaking out with a big smile.  Rather than think about death, divorce, cancer, illness, depression... Now I think about colour. My Soul. Freedom.  So my future as an artist is dead.   I am done. 

Can an artist make good work if they are not tormented?  Should I go buy a knife, start drinking, doing drugs, start thinking about faking my death. I might crash my car. Hanging out with crack heads, drinking massive amounts of beers. Piss my life away.  All this happiness is not good for my art. I must suffer. I must contemplate suicide 24 / 7.  Well more sad news.  I have never smoked, never done drugs, never even tried coffee.  I am a lame boring artist.  No future.

So I have decided to tell everyone who has purchased my art, all those people that helped, encouraged me for the last 20 years.  I am done.  I am screwed.  I am happy. I love life. I LOVE Art. And my life as a artist is in the gutter.  Sorry.  Thank you everyone for all your help.

To make matters worse.  I have been selling paintings. This week alone I sold six medium to large paintings.  I am not starving.  Life is pretty good.  I have food in my refrigerator, a house, gallery, studio... two legs, ten fingers, two ears, eyes, a heart that beats.  Life is Great. I feel great.  For the last six months I have been painting art work that is filled with joy, love, positive energy.  So my future as an artist is done. 


Life is Art.

I must Die.



Smile.

Patrick

www.PatrickJohnMills.ca