Primary Soul. oil on canvas. 40 x 60 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $3400
Patrick John Mills
My Life is Over... I must Die.
Last night a friend of mine explaing that my career as an artist is finished. For years I painted tormented art work... and life was great. I was painting some really hardcore painful art. Siegfried explained, "Patrick, your screwed!" . I laughed. But he made a lot of sense. He talked about how Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear... = great artist.
Sad News... I am happy. Now I wake up and I am happy. In the morning I wake up to the sunshine. I feel sun light in my heart. I feel so happy. I dance in the shower, Sing in the car when I drive. I can not stop myself from breaking out with a big smile. Rather than think about death, divorce, cancer, illness, depression... Now I think about colour. My Soul. Freedom. So my future as an artist is dead. I am done.
Can an artist make good work if they are not tormented? Should I go buy a knife, start drinking, doing drugs, start thinking about faking my death. I might crash my car. Hanging out with crack heads, drinking massive amounts of beers. Piss my life away. All this happiness is not good for my art. I must suffer. I must contemplate suicide 24 / 7. Well more sad news. I have never smoked, never done drugs, never even tried coffee. I am a lame boring artist. No future.
So I have decided to tell everyone who has purchased my art, all those people that helped, encouraged me for the last 20 years. I am done. I am screwed. I am happy. I love life. I LOVE Art. And my life as a artist is in the gutter. Sorry. Thank you everyone for all your help.
To make matters worse. I have been selling paintings. This week alone I sold six medium to large paintings. I am not starving. Life is pretty good. I have food in my refrigerator, a house, gallery, studio... two legs, ten fingers, two ears, eyes, a heart that beats. Life is Great. I feel great. For the last six months I have been painting art work that is filled with joy, love, positive energy. So my future as an artist is done.
Life is Art.
I must Die.