Dream Beautiful Dreams. oil on canvas. 48 x 72 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $4500.
photo taken in studio
Patrick John Mills
Dream Beautiful Dreams. oil on canvas. 48 x 72 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $4500.
Patrick John Mills
close up of Dream Beautiful Dreams
Forever Tender. oil on canvas. 46 x 50 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $2800.
photo taken on fence in studio garden
Forever Tender. oil on canvas. 46 x 50 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $2800.
Patrick John Mills
close up of Forever Tender
Surrender to Dreams. oil on canvas. 48 x 72 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $4500.
Patrick John Mills
close up of Surrender to Dreams
Good Night. oil on canvas. 22 x 28 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $600.
Indulge. oil on canvas. 32 x 42 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $1400.
Patrick John Mills
Indulge. oil on canvas. 32 x 42 inches. Spring 2012. Price: $1400.
Patrick John Mills
close up of Indulge painting
Two Weeks and Two Days
It was like putting my arm in an electric panel. A heart attack. When you shut down for years, and your marriage ends. My heart was locked under my rib cage. Starving for love and tenderness. Seven months later I meet a beautiful lady. She was the pink on my palette. Tender. Complicated heart. Could not sleep. Painted all hours of the day and night. Panic attacks. Insomnia. Sleep walking in my palette. Difficultly sleeping, eating, functioning. Extremely overwhelming.
There is a wound in my heart. Beautiful lady showed me blue flowers down by the river. Made me an incredible meal with her magical potato masher. She wore a retro dress.
Falling... Falling... Fall. Glass breaks when it hits the floor. Too much is too much. Flood. Open heart surgery. Heart on display. She closed the door. Time to move on.
Feel pretty empty. Happy to be alone. No more tension. No more begging for love and hugs. Miss my Isabelle so much. One week on. One week off. Sleep in her bed sometimes when she is away. Really wished to have beautiful family dinners at the dinning room table. Failed. 17 years together died.
Need more paint. Always need more. Too much love is never enough. Swim in an ocean of dreams. Surrounded with everything and nothing all at the same time. Dance in Sunshine. Love shines from inside my soul.
Finished another painting. Paintings dry and can not speak your name. Hundreds and hundreds of paintings. Art is Dead. It does not hold you. It is much easier to not open your heart. It is better to shut down than feel pain. Love is a drug. I am addicted to pain. Piss in a bucket. Roof that leaks. Got a new tarp for my studio. Approached two galleries in ten years. Confident. Deeply insecure. Hate being a door to door sales man. Eat shit and smile at the same time. .
One afternoon a little boy was asked to water the flowers in the backyard by his mother. Wanting to show how much he loved her - he connected the hose and began to water the flowers. Hours passed. It started to get dark. He stayed up all night. The little boy fell asleep on the lawn with the hose clinched in his hands. The next morning his mother woke up to make coffee. The backyard was flooded. She freaked out.
Inside my soul there are fields of flowers. Endless waves of tenderness. Too much is too much. Too much is never enough.
love
Patrick
No comments:
Post a Comment